Thought Bubble

Just the other day, I was thinking about really using my face pic as my profile picture in Planetromeo and Downelink.
But then again, I'm afraid of two things:
1. Somebody might tell
2. I'm not worth the time

I'm afraid that somebody might tell. But not to the extent of knowing, but rather, that they spread the news without me telling my closest friends first. I'm thinking of just one. My female best friend. Then maybe, when I do tell, I'll rethink my position.
I'm afraid that showing my pic can either up my ego, or kill it entirely. HAHA. I know what I look like and I know my imperfections. Until I lose those imperfections, then maybe I'll be willing to go out. But until I can be secure about myself, maybe I'll just lurk in the dark. Chatting people up. So yea, I've got the dreaded acne. And I've gained quite a bit of weight, compared to previous years.

My question is. How can you be so brave to show your face pic while pronouncing that you're discreet?
It just confuses me.
If you're discreet. Hide it. And show it to people you don't know right? Rather than shock your previous high school classmate. Right?

Is there like a gay-code? Or bi-code? Or CODE of ethics that tells people - KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT?

Hmm.

MM 1

Like I said before. I met him when I was in grade 6. While I was hanging out with my friends near the caf.
He was talking to a guy named Sandoval. I remember it so distinctly because it was the moment I realized I'm in love.
It's too much, perhaps, to say that the love bug bit me. Or to say that it was love at first sight.
But the point being is - is that I was knocked off my feet. I knew. Back then. That there was something about him that I just love. Aside from his obviously handsome face.
I followed him. Not really. But I was kind of obsessed. When I learned about his name, I started searching for him in the net, even in our campus website. And you know, just stare at his face (among other things, let's be wholesome first).
I craved him. I seriously did. Let me describe him to you:
1. He's around 5'11. Pretty tall. Mestizo. White. Sometimes tanned from running.
2. Lean. Cause he's a track star. So that makes him Victor Basa like with his body. So yea, he has abs. He's thin. But he has 6 packs. I remember it distinctly because when we had this rehearsal thing for a play, he was shirtless and sweaty. So you can sense how detailed his body was with the sweat sliding through his abs and belly button. Just thinking about it turns me on, ALWAYS.
3. He had braces (it's gone now). And glasses. It makes him a dork - NO. Despite it all. He still looks hot.
4. He has allergies most of the time. There was this one time when he had boogers all over his face cause he was wiping his face with his arm most of the time.
5. He is smart. And rich. He is actually the guy anyone has ever dream about. An athlete. A genius. A hottie. Everything I want to be.
God, he's hot. Hotter now, now that he lost his braces and glasses. Gained more mass.
Honestly, the only thing I haven't seen from him are his butt and cock. That underwear area. I've seen the rest cause we're friends so he would just take off his clothes and I'd see it all. Or his photos in his online accounts.
More to follow.

Reconsidering

I finally decided to come out. But no one's asking me yet.

I'm waiting for a scenario where:

1. Drinks are present

2. Circle of friends are in conversation

3. Someone just asks

But somehow. No one's asking anymore. However! There was a time when we were drinking I heard someone ask if I was gay! Someone defended me though. If only I wasn't drunk. I could've answered her back.

*Everyone's face in shock... or not really*

But I'm also reconsidering. I'm on the verge of eliminating any possibility of any same sex encounter. Or if I will, I'd take Jason Mraz's statement - "until the right guy comes along"

YES. Jason Mraz is bi. I was shocked as well. Wow. I idolized him, but I never knew he was bi.

He actually gave me the added confidence that I need when I say it.

So yea, I want a girlfriend. I want my first time with a girl. A girl who knows I'm bi and will respect me for who I am. I will love her completely. I will hold nothing against her. I will be faithful. I will love her with my entirety.

Sorry. But unless we meet in person (and I find you SHIT HOT, I mean like - Ian Sommerhadler HOT) - that's when I'll be game. The only time I'll be willing to take it to the next level is if you look like him or for a more Filipino version - Victor Basa. I want someone with a ripped body.

Unless you're someone I've liked regardless of your looks (i.e. Joshua, and only him). Then I'm game. So basically, it's either Joshua or an Ian/Victor-look-a-like.

I ask too much so that I can avoid doing it with the same sex.

:)